Life is a delicate balance of remaining flexible and enforcing your boundaries. Which side of the equation are you on?
Take a step back and see which side of the pendulum you're on: Are you being too flexible and letting people walk all over you? Or perhaps you're the tough guy who is very difficult to deal with. You need to ask yourself, "where am I naturally gravitating to?"
"So be sure when you step. Step with care and great tact and remember that life’s a Great Balancing Act. Just never forget to be dexterous and deft. And never mix up your right foot with your left." - Dr. Seuss
Love life,
Sean
How much is your system what will i pay in sa rands , also 4 the second time around your video links do not work
Good wisdom Sean.
Such a simple concept as you stated but one so hard to grasp at times when you are caught
up emotionally. I too have struggled with this all my life and have recently realized it's been
a major source of disatisfaction in life. The resulting anger and resentment get misplaced and
it's hard to sort out if you're more mad at the other person or yourself for not saying something
and clarifying your boundries.
I'm a very easy going, even tempered, open minded person which
has been a blessing but also a curse. I am also an introvert in a world of extroverts.
It seems too many people have no boundries but maybe those are the ones who most test yours.
I'm working on it and it does wonders for your self esteem. You have to take back your power in a positive way
and command respect.
I just viewed your video on a Delicate Balance. I really resonated with me. In trying to please God I find that with the literal interpretation of the Bible (boundries) some think them as to be VERY rigid, and that can turn many people off.
I try to understand the "Spirit of the Law" rather than the "Letter of the Law". Yet many people are TOO flexable with this.
God is a god of Love AND a god of wrath.
Your thoughts on balance will help here very much, because my experience has been that God is very much a god of Love, and desires to see his people succeed spiritually as well as naturally. Yet as a Father with his child there are consequenses for disobedience.
Thank you for helping me get a clearer picture of this important aspect of my life. In the Love vs Wrath aspects of trying to follow God, I NEED this Balance you speak of.
As I have been trying to improve my habits, I have had a lot of trouble with balance. I've felt very *close* to balanced, but I feel like I never know when I cross the line of rightfully standing up for myself and become overly defensive/self-righteous. This is particularly hard for me because I have always been the type to never take anything seriously and now it feels like I often care too much about silly little things and I feel like I am constantly overreacting, even though I know this isn't always true. Any suggestions?
good advice. thank you.
Dear Sean,I'm so grateful to you and your blog. You are an amazing human to the world and to me, God himself is in you on earth.. You are simply amazing. You have tough me the greatest lesson and I'll pass it to everyone I know.
Wishing you and your family, Happy Easter and great long weekend.I'm sending you my sincere love and a big hug. God bless you and your family.
Sean, I can sure relate. I really need to work on enforcing my boundaries.
Excellent video, thanks you!
Charles Bell
Thanks Sean,
Just coming back to balance from a little flip to the toooo nice side. Had to laugh when I heard you.
The teacher appears when the student is ready. You are a great teacher.......!!!!!!!
Love
Olga
I love everything you said about life. Remain flexible and finding that balance. I had to do that when my son passed, it was hard. I am still trying to keep a balance in life, so the scales won't tilt. I have to go back to school and find a job to make ends meet. I too try to keep balanced in all things. You made me focus on the things that is pressing at the moment.
Thank you
Sean, Thanks for the valuable message! I was so afraid of being hard and cold, that I tended to be too soft and flexible. Now I'm more frequently striving for balance. Your heartfelt message helps me to remember.
Wow Sean. This was a perfect message. You really know how to get people thinking!
Thanks for the message, Sean! Being an Idealist myself (Briggs-Meyers test and Kiersey test validate) I tend to be too flexible. Then, one day, I was asked to take a leadership position and was told I needed to "toughen up" a bit so that people would respect me and take me seriously....so my pendulum swung all the way over to being a hard-nose. Both positions resulted in DISASTEROUS outcomes. Now that I am on the path to understanding myself more, my traits and characteristics, I'm more aware of my blindspots -- but always appreciate a friendly reminder. Thanks a bunch!
thanks sean your da bomb,,,
Thank you Sean.
It is wonderful to get your ideas about life. They do help me.
Jeroen
The Netherlans
You give new meaning to " Go Big!" Love you man!!
Sean, I love the pendulum analogy and the question, Where am I naturally gravitating to? I also think this is similar to the 'pain - pleasure' directions we are taking in life. Are we in the moment taking 'inspired action' towards our goals - what we want to create in our life or are we staying stuck and moving in the opposite direction.
Balance is important in all areas of our lives - physically, spiritually and emotionally. It is a delicate balance!
Flexibility is 'key' to being open to doors that open in our lives - and doors that close. The people, events and circumstances that show up in our lives.
Thank you Sean for sharing your inspiration and insight!
Wishing you and everyone on the blog an awesome day!
Live with Passion
Moira
Touché! The pendulum to find the elegant delicate balance: an art to discover especially in negotiations or debates. I'll ponder on this one. Thank you for sharing your experiences and ideas.
You're right, Sean. Life is elegant graceful dance. I'm too flexible in my life. I should be tougher.
Excellent video! So true and yet we never think about it, except to punish ourselves afterwards for not being this way or that. I love how you expain life and make it so easy... right in your face lessons. I have gone both directions mostly taken advantage of and not standing up for my inner self. I will look at things differently now and take your lessons with me. I think you are wonderful and an inspiration...thank you!
Sean, you are blessed. It has nothing to do with material assets. You have compassion, faith, understanding, no ego, no judgement of others, no fear, no envy. This makes you happy. No body could have given those attributes to you and you can not give them to anyone else, but thank you for trying. Your efforts do make a difference.
Sean, Thank you for the inspiring video. I can relate to what you are saying. I am the type of person who will agree with someone to avoid a confrontation and therefore have been walked on quite a bit. Thank you for reminding me that my opinion matters as well.
Namaste,
"The light in me appreciates the light in you."
you're awesome!
Hello Sean,
There isn't a word that comes out of your mouth that drips with inauthenticity. You are one authentic dude!
This message about balance is one that grounded people can negotiate, and people pleasers fail miserably at enforcing.
It is important to keep oneself available and flexible enough when the situation demands, but - like so many things in life - we train people to treat us the way they do.
If the training is based on personal insecurity, then others will trample us with ease.
If the training, however, is based on love of oneself and a sense of life purpose, boundaries are easy to voice and even simpler to enforce without getting testy.
I can imagine that since you are always sitting down that people assume you must have idle time.
In your case, I would always make people who want to casually steal your minutes and hours to accompany you on peripatetic rollabouts - most will get the hint methinks that your time is invaluable. A few insensitive types will have to spiritually slapped upside the head before they grasp that you are not their slave.
Anyway, I deal with this issue of balance, as my daughters often call me when I am immersed in some activity important to me and I mindlessly drop what I'm doing and lose my moment of immersion.
Just before I watched your video, I was thinking about exactly what you were saying. Serendipity at work?
Thanks for addressing this issue and giving me something to chew over.
Regards,
Richard in Tokyo
Hi Sean - that was just the right message for me at this time in my life. Playing 'nice girl' is certainly not a productive way to live out one's life, but finding the balance, with no regrets, is just plain difficult. So ok, I am now working on my notion of accomplishing 'the elegant, graceful dance'.
Being assertive without upsetting the balance can be tricky, as I know from experience. When I was in my teens and twenties, I was very much a people-pleaser and allowed myself to be walked over by people. This is certainly not the case now but I still need to be mindful about boundaries and flexibility and keeping balanced. Another great post, Sean!
Thank you for the video, it is always good to be reminded of using balance in our life. It is so easy to forget. In reality we need it in everything we do encounter in the challenges we face everyday. We balance even our cheque books.
All tne best to you Sean
good way of aligning my thoughts
thanx
Sean, thank you for the balance and flexibility reminder! I'm out of balance more than I want to be. I am grateful for your "heads up." Love and Blessings, Doc Meek, South Jordan, USA: Calgary and Edmonton, Alberta, CANADA
Hey Sean! Thanks for this post. I could really relate to what you were saying about having to find that balance. I've been in the same position as Mike, who commented below (10:39 am), I'll come across more aggressive than I intend but when I tone it down, I also feel I don't get much respect. Finding that middle ground is so frustrating. It would be great if you could do a follow-up to this post and give us more pointers on how we can know we've found the middle ground. Because that is the really frustrating part sometimes.
My personal goal is to achieve balance in all that I do. Thank you for sharing your experience and that of your mentor. Personally, I find that boundaries with a true smile work wonders.
Thank you Sean, love your book! This is something I've struggled with. I'm a big guy, and it often seems I come across more aggressive than I intend. But when I tone it down, I don't feel I get much respect. It's hard to find that middle ground. I think it's a matter of paying attention in every interaction, and applying what you've learned. The key is not to get too obsessive about it. Self-doubt can creep in and immobilize you. So, as you covered in a recent post, lighten up.
Hey Mike! I hear you. I've been in the same position too.
Sean, I have actually been bouncing all over the pendulum, throughout my life. When I was young, in elementary school, people couldn't deal with me, and I couldn't deal with them. Everyone made fun of me, and it hardened my outer shell. I didn't want to associate with anyone.
Move forward several years. When I was 12-14, I became an extremely nice guy. I guess you could say that I wasn't very assertive. But now, I am almost 18, and dealing with a physical condition has really centered me on the pendulum. I can deal with a lot of upset, because of past experience. Yet, I know what I want, and I will do everything to get it. Thanks for the great wisdom Sean, I appreciate you!
Thanks,
Josh Lipovetsky.
Sean
I don't know what Plato, or Socrates, or Shchopenhauer, or Descartes... or any other wisecrack would have to say when they listen to you... but I'm sure they would have to shift quite a bit their ideals and points of views, and the flexibility and their boundaries when listening to you and wacthing you live and help others live better...