February 12, 2010

A Lack of Observation

Ever wonder why you feel as though your life is out of control? As though you lack any real influence over the circumstances in your life and in turn you work yourself into a frantic mess.

If this sounds familiar to you, it shouldn't be surprising. I've learned that the root cause behind it is...

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a lack of observation. Ask yourself, how do I look to others right now? Would I want to be around me right now? By taking a step out of your Ego and looking at yourself from an "outsiders" perspective, you give yourself the ability to remove your Ego from the equation.

Those moments when we're totally off kilter are due to our internal circumstances of pain, worry and fear that put the blinders on and inhibit us from observing the Ego.

Our behavior is a direct reflection of our Ego acting out and the more we learn to observe the Ego, the better equipped we are for channeling our energy towards the outcomes we desire.

So if right now, you feel out of control, observe yourself, observe your behavior, and you will get control of your life I promise you.

Thanks for watching, I hope this exercise was of benefit to you and I wish you calmness in all areas of your life.

Peace and Love,

Sean :-)

P.S. This is one of the most powerful techniques I use. Try this exercise out next time you're feeling flustered and then share your experiences with me below - I would so love to hear them.

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37 Responses to A Lack of Observation
  1. Danay
    February 18, 2010 | 10:38 AM

    Occam's Razor... the simplest solution is usually the answer. I love your simple and effective analogies. Your bright spirit shines through and I feel blessed to have found your site as well as extremely grateful that you chose to share your insights with the world. I look forward to your emails.
    I do have a few questions regarding this blog. Once a person learns to observe, then do you recommend constant observation as the goal? Or is this mostly to be used in crisis intervention?
    The reason I ask is that constant observation could seem paranoid in its worst extreme. Although I find the idea intriguing and see great possibilities, I also think that constant observation would be rather difficult. For some reason, images of buddist monks are popping into my mind. :)
    If your analogy is designed toward crisis intervention (a wonderful tool in action, I know from experience), do you recommend a trigger such as 'When I bite my nails, I will step outside of myself and calm down.'?

  2. Noemi
    February 18, 2010 | 3:22 AM

    Hi Sean,

    Let me share my favorite ego quote with you:

    "Every morning when I wake up, I experience an exquisite joy – the joy of being Salvador Dalí – and I ask myself in rapture: What wonderful things this Salvador Dalí is going to accomplish today?"
    -Salvador Dalí

    Thank you for this wonderful video:)

    Best regards from Ireland
    (pls have a seminar in Ireland too)

  3. Sean McGrath
    February 18, 2010 | 2:34 AM

    Hi Sean, this is the first time I have watched any of your videos, I am impressed with how in the moment you seem to be. This is a truly difficult thing to do. You are right, through practice and observing ones self you are more able to live in the moment. The Stop watch idea is also brilliant, I had never thought of doing that. I will give it a go. I love the fact that we spell our names the right way,(oops, a little ego there) and we share a passion with living in the moment, observing ones self, and having an attitude of gratitude.

    One fellow made a Wayne Dyer reference, I love Wayne Dyer, he has a brilliant way of teaching about all of us being of source energy. This is the understanding that all humanity must come to. We are divine beings having a human experience. I love what you have to say, and the way you say it, I will continue listening.

    Thank you Sean for your perspective.

    S.

    p.s.

    The more man meditates upon good thoughts, the better will be his world and the world at large.
    Confucius.

  4. Sean Stephenson
    February 17, 2010 | 12:03 AM

    The wedding was a blast.

    You are certainly welcome. :)

    Be well,
    Sean

  5. Jeni
    February 16, 2010 | 2:12 AM

    Hey Sean, they say good things come in small packages, I would say GREAT things, meaning you. Thank you for all your wonderful blogs, I wait for them and really enjoy each valuable message. I hope to meet you one day. Thank you, Jeni

  6. Kristin Hutchings
    February 15, 2010 | 12:47 PM

    Thanks for sharing another great video with us all, Sean!

  7. Stacey Whitney
    February 15, 2010 | 8:33 AM

    I think you have the most wonderful videos packed with information to better ourselves. You have been a God send to me. Love you dearly. Hugs!

  8. David Carl Taube
    February 15, 2010 | 6:08 AM

    I just needed to hear someone as wise as Sean say it. What a great help. Thank you Sean

  9. scott
    February 14, 2010 | 6:35 PM

    Thanks,for this insight Sean
    Although these ideas are not new to me they are
    a greatly appreciated reminder.
    THANK YOU SO MUCH

    • Sean Stephenson
      February 16, 2010 | 11:47 PM

      Common sense is not common sense until it is common practice. ;)

      Thanks,
      Sean

  10. William Brill
    February 14, 2010 | 9:48 AM

    Sean,
    "Get off you but" was given to me by a Joe P. student in my home town. I just finished it last night and then read to my wife from it as she drifted off to sleep. (not that you bored her, it was late...). A, B, C,'s alone is priceless!

    Now I will go back and do "get off your but journal and ....lessons".

    Thank you for putting pen to paper. Your book is filled with golden 'nuggets' and "A HA" self-exploring that will help us reach our full potential.

    All the best,
    William & Lori Brill

    • Sean Stephenson
      February 16, 2010 | 11:50 PM

      This warms my heart to hear.

      Thank you for the glowing remarks about my book, getting it published was a painstaking process...but comments like yours made it all worth while. :)

      Be well,
      Sean

  11. Dean Hyson
    February 13, 2010 | 11:42 PM

    I could not agree more. Sometimes we need to step back and maybe think about how we would like to be talked to or treated then treat everybody else in the same way or if a circumstance is getting or has gotten out of control, think of someone that you know that does not "lose it" but rather handles his or herself well in similar circumstances and think about how they would handle it, then try to handle yourself in the same manner.

    • Sean Stephenson
      February 16, 2010 | 11:51 PM

      Social referencing a mentor figure in your mind is priceless. :)

      Thanks for sharing.

      Be well,
      Sean

  12. J Collins Meek, PhD
    February 13, 2010 | 9:52 PM

    Dear Sean, I am grateful for your courageous example to us all. Your words are so much more powerful because they are backed by personal example. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.
    - Doc Meek, Feb 13, 2010, South Jordan, Utah

    • Sean Stephenson
      February 16, 2010 | 11:52 PM

      Person example is a very good leverage tool. :)

      Be well,
      Sean

  13. alfred molenaar
    February 13, 2010 | 9:36 PM

    When you observe your own behavior something wonderful begins to happen.One can become aware of a[growing?] separation between the entity engaging in the behavior and the observer.
    The observer is the key to our freedom.

    • Sean Stephenson
      February 16, 2010 | 11:53 PM

      "The observer is the key to our freedom."
      - Alfred Molenaar

      Brilliant and accurate!

      Thanks.

      Be well,
      Sean

  14. Santhana
    February 13, 2010 | 6:54 PM

    Thanks a lot Sean !
    I am very grateful to you for a wonderful
    simple (may be a bit difficult to practice initially)
    technique for a great result.
    I shall try by best and indeed it is a great
    finding and I applaud your patience,
    simplicity and clarity in giving this idea
    to the millions in the world for their betterment.
    God Bless you for a healthy and long life.
    with love
    Santhana.. India.

    • Sean Stephenson
      February 16, 2010 | 11:54 PM

      One small step a day will get your further than anything in the long run. :)

      Be well,
      Sean

  15. jerry
    February 13, 2010 | 5:03 PM

    you are right shawn fear is the trigger always thank you

  16. Marcelo
    February 13, 2010 | 10:15 AM

    Hey Sean ... you cool man !!!
    How can i have some coach wth u ???
    pls let me know??
    Do u have students?? thks
    peace.

  17. Harry Husted
    February 13, 2010 | 9:39 AM

    Observing oneself is not easy to do, especially when you are not in the habit of doing it. So thank you for reminding us to do it. This will impress upon us the realization that we must focus in this direction. It will help when we do.

  18. paul
    February 13, 2010 | 9:15 AM

    Thank you Sean,
    That is so true sometimes we don;t observe ourselves and our ego; edgeing God out. God bless.

    • Sean Stephenson
      February 16, 2010 | 11:55 PM

      E.G.O. is so true, I love that Wayne Dyer reference. :)

      Be well,
      Sean

  19. Jim Makevery Schatz
    February 13, 2010 | 8:48 AM

    SEAN

    Moderating your ego is an on going process. An exercise I use which has given me insight into ego control is shooting and making every free throw.

    The skill to be at your best requires control over your arousal level. Your arousal level effects your emotions, survival instincts and flo of adrenaline. While in mediation the mind stills and is quiet and calm, thus arousal control.

    So focus on what you desire and keep your ego out of the equation so that your arousal level stays constant. You will have more confidence, a longer attention span and iron strong concentration to see yourself succeed and reach your lofty goals.

    Thanks Sean for the opportunities to blog with you. Have fun this week end. That's quite an honor you have earned. Keep it going.

    jim

    • Sean Stephenson
      February 16, 2010 | 11:57 PM

      You don't want to awaken the FIGHT or FLIGHT mechanism, for sure. :)

      Be well,
      Sean

  20. Muran
    February 13, 2010 | 7:52 AM

    Yes, not identifying ourselves!! Your wake up call is really helpful to observe and correct myself. Thank you Sean for your great observation and guidance.

  21. DUANE WRIGHT
    February 13, 2010 | 7:28 AM

    YOU ARE THE MAN

  22. Leila
    February 13, 2010 | 4:54 AM

    Hey Sean, does that mean no matter what's going on - how much the situation seems to be coming at me, I can gain control of it/me by observing what I'm doing and saying? I notice you don't say - observe and change. Just observe. That sounds amazing. I wonder if I can be present enough to do this consciously. Thanks a lot Sean.

    • Sean Stephenson
      February 16, 2010 | 11:59 PM

      Start practicing it and tell me how it
      comes along. :)

      Be well,
      Sean

  23. micki
    February 13, 2010 | 4:36 AM

    Dear Sean,
    Back in my addiction days my life was out of control,
    Since working the 12 steps of recovery my life has
    totally turned around. I don't have to scream, rant and rave out of control anymore! I am so grateful for that.
    The Ego "her Majesty The Baby" had power over me.
    When I became consciously aware of my part and my behavior did I realize how insane I was acting. You are right we must observe at all times what is coming from our mouth, and the body language. Thank you for this video. I love you very much.
    Many Blessing
    Micki

    • Sean Stephenson
      February 17, 2010 | 12:00 AM

      Micki,

      I applaud you for your efforts, and thank you
      for the honesty.

      Keep being awesome. :)

      Be well,
      Sean

  24. Michelle Fradella-Barfuss
    February 13, 2010 | 12:14 AM

    Great post, Sean! We do get caught up with how everyone else is, and forget to monitor our own behaviors. Thanks for the reminder!

  25. parameshwari
    February 12, 2010 | 10:50 PM

    Dear Sean, God must heard my loud,screaming voices and may be he purposely send you to help me. I have been screaming lately without observation. I just don't know what to do too. I have been living with this guilty feelings for a while.I just don't know how to dealt with it and it's giving me lots of stress to myself. Any suggestion Sean ? Love you from bottom of my heart. God bless you and your love ones.

    • Sean Stephenson
      February 17, 2010 | 12:03 AM

      Consider seeing a TIME EMPOWERMENT THERAPIST as it will really help to learn from and move on from the guilt.

      Be well,
      Sean

  26. Tina
    February 12, 2010 | 10:39 PM

    Dear Sean,

    I am so enjoying your insights. Thank you for sharing your wisdom. I look forward to more. Have a wonderful time at the wedding. Bless you.

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