Ever wonder how the same bad events keep happening to you or your loved ones repeatedly? These series of negative events don’t just happen by sheer coincidence. As easy as it is to blame others, there are in fact specific mental patterns that are the culprit behind all negative events in your life.
These patterns are what I like to call “Victim Behavior”. Sounds scary? Well it should! I’ve recorded a short video for you to demonstrate just exactly what I mean when I refer to victim behavior and how to avoid it.
I want to help you determine if you’re a culprit of these negative behaviors and how you can stop yourself from experiencing unnecessary negativity in your life — don’t worry, it’s far more fun than it sounds! 
Just remember… Your mentality creates your reality. Not the other way around. Once you accept responsibility for everything in your life, all the negative people and events literally just drop off. They simply cannot stick to you anymore and you free yourself from those destructive patterns of negativity.
So stop swallowing magnets 
Peace,
Sean
Sean,
May your God bless and keep you safe. You seem to have figured it out and I am still full of questions. For the second time in my life I have stepped outside of my circle of “friends” and walked away. I am 40 years old, never married, no children. I have made my list of must have and would be nice. I made it two years ago, way before I knew of you. I am alone. I find both peace and dread in the silence of my home. I never thought that I could make it on my own, yet here I am. My many fears, I am knee deep in now. I wade wade through them daily and my footing is never sure. Yet despite them or because of them I am still here. I am in a time or place where I question everything that I have known to be true. I can see the folly now of my god and goverment. The role of family and the definition of love have been blown out of the water and I am left floating in a great sea. I do not have the answers. I do not dare judge those that still see some sence of truth to this madness that we call a just and good life. What is the role of (wo)man? Why am I here? If the role of men and women is what I was raised to believe, why am I alone? Perhaps some of us are meant to be alone. I am at a place where I find a relationship both comforting and anoying. I dont want someone to tell me that my dreams are good or bad. I really do not care about anyone’s opinion of me. No, I don’t need you to take care of me. I simply want you when I want you. This seems to be selfish to me and against everything I was raised to believe a woman should be. I will use you for every good thing you can be to me. I will give when I can and you must be ok on your own until then. I will expect you to be faithfull to only me as I am to you. I find it better to be alone than with people who will bring me down even more. At this point I speak mainly with my mom and aunt, both of which are not positive influences in my life. People I have met only want to speak of what is going wrong, constantly. People I meet are so caught up in drama Sean. How do I find the happy confident people? I set a goal to only speak of good things in January. My conversations were short at best.
Sean, am I right? Have I gone off the beaten path? Am I ever to be enough for anyone? Do I expect too much? Please reply.
Dawn
Hi Sean,
First of all I want to thank you for what you are doing here and say that I love your blogs/site.
The metaphors and other visual aids you use make it very easy to grasp and think about issues in a more concrete way.
I never thought of myself as a victim/victimizer up until recently but have been struggling for years with negative people and consequences throughout my life. I have always thought of myself as a good listener to others offering sound advice when needed, displaying unselfish acts of kindness, giving more than receiving, etc. Problem is, I have failed miserably at setting healthy boundries and especially expressing myself to get MY emotional needs met.
In the past 2 years my second marriage failed, I became unemployed, uninsured, nearly homeless and have lost
alot of my possessions.
A portion of these events were beyond my control but in the soul searching mission I have been on for the past 6 — 8 months, I can see how many of MY actions & inactions have contributed to the chain of events over the past decade in particular. My martyr mentality was one of victim causing me to become angry, resentful and bitter and eventually a victimizer.
Thank you again for reinforcing something I have been struggling with for a long time. I am finally getting insight and healing.
Diane
Hi Sean, How‘re you doing?
I read this post very carefully and I thought about a few things.
You talked about victim behavior and made an example of magnets and papers clips.
People find themselves repeating again and again all kind of scenarios, not exactly the same ones, but as in the theater they play the same role with, maybe every now and then, different partners.
People carry with themselves the cause, that is what you illustrated with your magnets. Therapy is about getting rid of that magnets (the causes)
They enslave themselves to some situations or persons (“friends”, “family”, “peers”, “boyfriends/girlfriends)
They have blueprints, mindsets, thoughts that are the limit for new things, for the unexpected, that‘s way repetition comes back again and again.
It‘s like dreaming to be in Japan but never taking a plane out of their own countries.
I recommend you this link:
http://www.elsigma.com/site/detalle.asp?IdContenido=658 (of course, you‘ll have to find a way to translate this article from spanish to English)
“I hate my family” “I feel bad being with…” “My boss exploits me…as the last one” these are things that you could‘ve heard in your practice every day, and they’re true, the guy or girl isn‘t lying, but they still live there, or work there, or keep hanging out with some people, etc
They‘re bitter, annoyed, hummiliated for a family or friends that beat them up, but they‘re still there.
As David DeAngelo said once “When you‘re saying Yes to one thing, you‘re saying No to another thing”
There‘s a price to pay to achieve things, that‘s another thing that people may realize in therapy, if that people say Yes to run away from a a bad enviroment they‘re saying No to: Not to do something to get away from there, (No) to still live without worrying about their lives, (No) to leave their lives and decisions in the hands of other people.
I recommend you Jaques Lacan‘s “Seminar 11: The four fundamental concepts of psychoanalysis” (There‘s an english translation which is very easy to find in the USA)
Also, I recommend you Norberto Rabinovich‘s “Lagrimas de lo real” and “El Nombre del Padre”. It‘ll be worthy paying the price of getting those translated to english (from Spanish)
Best wishes
Luis Marcano (from Venezuela)
Thanks Sean.
Like Hassan ( above ) I was a very successful man till a point where I start to lose everything. I believe in curse.. . I have such a victim or a “curse” mentality than while I was was watching your video my computer crashed and reboot itself. I am serious !!
I swear Sean !! It is very difficult to live like this and sometimes I just want to give up. I understand perfectly your point as I was this ” victim” for the past 9 years !!
I’ve lost several business in less than six years and then my wife had a cancer . From a successful Entrepreneur speaking 5 languages..I am now at the point of searching a job for $10 an hour. Life is bizarre at time..and all this is very hard on what’s I have left of pride..If I could afford it I will sign for a session with you !! Anyway, from today I will start to put in practice your advice.. and will fight back my bad luck with no mercy!!
Peace to you, also Sean!
Your blogs are truly masterful in the sense that, as I listen and watch, it seems I am pulled into an energy that is just right for the times in my life.
I have loved being an educator (retired — sort of :]!) and hope to have inspired with authentic pieces of expertise that you live. (Technology and having you back ‘in the day’ would have been a tremendous asset.) There were days (and a blur of years) when living that authenticity was more difficult.
With your blog and reaching out, degrees of reaching how I want to show up in the world are enhanced.
Thank you,
JW
Thanks again Sean! I love your videos and I’ll keep sending your message forward.
I love watching and listening to your videos. My other comment was posted on the wrong blog by mistake. (about the tree roots) You shed light on my life in that I see several negative recurring things about my health and a few user type people have fallen away.
M
Thank you very much Sean for sharing your thoughts.
This is “literally” the escape from captivity of negativity
Hi Sean,
Thank you for this great video again. At the moment i’m reading your wonderful book — Get of your but — I’ve already learnt a lot from it. Thank you!
I’m thrilled you love my book.
It took me months to write and years to compile the information. Be well. 
If you ever need more copies just go to:
http://www.GetOffYourButBook.com
i like this very much,and feel its right,
I DEFINITELY won’t be swallowing any magnets. But Let’s say You swallowed some of these, it would be a pretty tough job to get them out. And what happens if you swallow positive magnets and negative ones, does that mean that your good thinking will stick with your bad thinking? I don’t know… I just don’t know. Sounds like a job for a psychologist, so how much are your sessions again?
IMO You need to “swallow” more positive magnets so that you can overcome the negative magnets.
For information about my sessions call my office and we’ll get you the information.
866–294-1582 and ask for my assistant Stacy.
Remember I’m not your typical therapist, I usually only see a client once for an extended full immersion session.
Be well,
Sean
Wow! Sean you’ve done it again. Many thanks for this video. The visual was awesome and as I am a visual learner I really appreciate the message.
All blessings and good things back to you.
Feeling like a victim stems from “Entitlement” mentality, selfishness, being always dissatisfied and wanting more.
The opposite of that is having a positive and grateful attitude. Concentrating on what you have instead of what you don’t have.
THANKS SEAN I JUST FINISHED WATCHING YOU DISCRIBE MY LIFE,I WILL CONTINUE WATCHING YOUR VIDIOS,THE 3FT GIANT MUST BE ALL BRAINS.HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN.…GAR
I don’t know about the brains part
but I definitely have heart!!!
Thanks,
Sean
Excellent metaphor, very lovingly and well presented. Thank you!
You are so wonderful Sean…such insight to human life and struggles. Your blogs are a gift to mankind. My son is an alcoholic and has been to rehabs with no success. He doesn’t want to be this way and is strong for a day or two…going to change then an uncontrollable urge (like a magnet) won’t let him stop.
I wish I could help him for him and for myself as I do feel like a victim when it affects me…so I’m listening to your powerful words for strength and will share with him.
Thank you so much for you love and commitment to others!
I’m glad my BLOG is having a positive impact on you. I wish you all the best with your son.
Be well,
Sean
Hello Sean
i do understand exactly what demonstrated about victim behavior i have been a successful entrepreneur in real estate ‚very positive in my life ‚until i started to get a lot of kinds of problems ‚i tried everything ‚until i discovered that some one in my entourage used black magic on me ‚and believe me,i know what im talking about ‚it can ruin your life ‚i know i have this curse on me ‚i do not know what to do Sean ‚believe me im very positive in my life
Black Magic you say?
Hmm well I can’t say I have much experience
in that area. Remember this you’re responsible
for your reality…if things aren’t working, for
any reason, it’s up to you to make the shift.
Focus your energy in the right areas and be
patient, a belief in self is more powerful than
anything someone else could imprint on you.
Be well,
Sean
Sean: Terrific! I will use this with my Grade 12 classes. Young people need to know that they have to take responsibility for their own lives. Thanx Sean.
So true.
Go forth and mold our future leaders!
Thank you for what you’re doing.
Be well,
Sean
Thanks for this video Sean. It’s not an easy thing to change your way of relating to people who are also victims but who abuse you in their way of relating to you, but it’s worth it.
Great stuff Sean. A great intro to my day!
Fr John
Hi Sean,
I may have a magnet inside mev too. how w,d i know and how do i get rid of it. loved the metaphor ‚verypowerful .
Kind regards ,
Brenda
Brilliant. This is very true
I feel solution is forgive oneself and all others unconditionally for our past many life.
And wish everytime fullfill,wellness, greatful of oneself and others in every way.
Than and than gradual transformation will come and dilute so many layers of negativity to fly away in front of us as a witness. Please negativity let them go, please now do not have any whatsoever attachment with them. And one gradually become
free and having great joy.
Self-forgiveness is key…in fact I have a blog coming out soon about that.
Thanks for the comment.
Be well,
Sean
Great video, Sean! I will never look at magnets in quite the same way! You made a very important point that we do have control over our lives and that events are not random and without reason.
I want to thank you for your wisdom! Your lessons always touches my heart! Thank you, thank you, thank you:)
Great video, one of the biggest and most rewarding challenges, is to get people to be responsible for life. This understanding gives great power. Maybe thats why few ever do it.
I understand this but what I dont get is to how to not feel badly when I chose that a person is not right for me „ I feel gulity and dont want to even inflick pain upon the person who is acting out in an abusive manner,the vissual was a great help „ but I still need answers to my questions and to feel I have the right to be happy at the expence of letting go of abusive behaviors of others. it is like I am abusing myself with others and feel it is not something I am alowed to be free of without guilt
Hi Vivian,
I have some experience with this myself. We are here to experience the dualities of life: what we like and what we don’t like. These dualities help us choose the direction of our life.
Feeling guilty about our feelings is like feeling guilty about breathing. Your feelings are your feelings, period. They are not who you are, but a physical response to your thoughts.
Acknowledge and observe your feelings as the useful tool they are, but then move on to what you expect to happen in any given situation. You get what you expect. Think back on your life and see that you’ve received everything you expected to receive.
Focus on expecting empowering people in your life, and the disempowering and abusive people in your life now will either change, adjust to your expectations, or leave your life entirely. It takes time, but it does happen. In the beginning you may have to redirect your focus a hundred times a day, but it becomes habit after a while.
Hope this helps.
GREAT post Monique:}
Vivan,
You deserve a great quality of life. Make sure
you never settle for bad behavior. You might
want to seek counsel from a professional if
this is an abusive situation.
Be good to yourself,
Sean
Visual metaphor ~ great learning tool
Well done Sean, another great visual metaphore which we can all relate to. I’m sure I too as a therapist can use this as a teaching tool. Thank you so much for sharing your insight. xx
This is not a variation of or the ‘other’ Law Of Attraction, this *is* the LOA. Just like positive, loving and productive events are attracted by positive, loving and productive people, what you describe in this video is the flip side of that.
Forest you are correct…it’s more of a play on words.
Be well,
Sean